A Letter To My Son On Inauguration Day 2021

Dear Asa,

I woke up this early this morning. I am sure some of that was due to the anticipation of what today will bring. As I sit here, I reflect on the past four years and my heart weeps for you my son.

I am sad that for half of your life you have grown up having lies normalized.

I am sad that you have had to witness the news of black men being murdered by cops, some even caught on camera.

I am sad that you have not been able to play with anyone your own age in almost a year.

I am sad that you have had to live in a country where COVID has claimed over 400,000 lives.

I am sad that we live in a country where there are people who have a complete disregard for human life.

I am sad that you have had to witness the hate and anger that has infected our country like a plague.

I am sad that this hatred is evident in the very community we live in.

I am sad that your father and I will not be able to shelter you from all of this forever.

Many will say that the hate and anger was always there. They will say that the clown exiting the White House today just gave people who felt that way a pass to show it outright. Maybe they are right. Either way it weighs heavy on my heart.

These last four years have been eye opening for me personally. There has been a lot of loss. I have come to understand that there are some people who I have known and loved my entire life, people who I share a lineage with, who have beliefs that are reprehensible to me. Beliefs that make me question the love they ever had for me. They choose hateful words, load them like a bullet in a gun, and aim them at those they call “family”. They have beliefs that somehow because of the color of their skin that they are better than those who look like you, your siblings and your dad. This thought process I will never understand. Still, it weighs heavy on my heart.

I have come to understand that there were people who I trusted, people who I thought were “friends” who had some of those same beliefs. I have had to disassociate myself from many people over these past four years. That weighs heavy on my heart.

As I was writing, your father walked in and asked what I was doing. I explained to him that I was watching the news and had an overwhelming sense that I needed to write you this letter.

My emotions consumed me. I could not control them. I simply wept. He just held me.

It was more than the sadness in my heart.

It was the sadness in my soul.

But this time it much more than sadness. It was anger. It was grief.

I am angry for all the things that we missed out on doing over the last year.

I’m angry for all of the memories that we missed making….. just as those words were leaving my lips, I realized something that your father immediately put into words for me. I was not sad and angry for you. You are thriving! I was sad and angry for me. Sad and angry for what I think I may have missed out on.

Your father so lovingly reminded me, in only a way he can, of how blessed we are.

He reminded me that we are safe, and we are healthy.

He reminded me of all the memories that we have had the chance to make over the last year while we have all been at home. We talked about how we as a family unit are so unbelievable blessed.

He reminded me of all of the incredible things that you have accomplished in the last year.

Then I looked at him with tear filled eyes and I said, ‘I know, that’s what gives me hope”. You my son give me hope.

You are an incredibly kind and compassionate child. You have a deep concern for others. You are a born leader. You proved that when you got elected 2nd grade Class President! Your father and I could not be prouder of the young man you are growing into. You my son, are going to change the world.

Today, as I look forward to the inauguration of our 46th President and Vice President of the United States Joe Biden and Kamala Harris, I release all of the grief that I have been harboring the last four years.

I feel a renewed sense of hope. Boundaries are being broken. We will have our first ever woman Vice President, a woman of Black and Asian decent at that! There are several firsts that have been nominated to the cabinet as well. First ever openly Gay cabinet member, first openly Trans federal official, first Latino to head homeland secure, first Black defense secretary… and several other historic appointments.

We will finally have an administration that looks like the true America.

Representation matters. This too gives me hope.

Today, as you wake up and start your day, I need to thank you.

Thank you for being you.

Thank you for being kind.

Thank you for reminding me what matters.

Thank you for giving me hope.

Here is to a future where #blacklivesmatter. Here is to love over hate.  

Love always,

Mom

“Keep exploring, keep dreaming. Keep asking why. Don’t settle for what you already know. Never stop believing in the power of your ideas, your imagination, and your hard work to change the world.” Barack Obama

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